ADVERTISEMENT
Get Started
  • About Homebase Tv | Hbtvghana.com
  • Advertise
  • Broadcast Live
  • Disclaimer
  • Privacy & Policy
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Vacancies
  • Contact Us – Connect With Us
Homebase Tv - Hbtvghana.com
  • Home
  • General News
  • Business News
  • Health
  • Life & Style
  • Politics
    • Press Release
    • Parliament
  • Sports
No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • General News
  • Business News
  • Health
  • Life & Style
  • Politics
    • Press Release
    • Parliament
  • Sports
No Result
View All Result
Homebase Tv - Hbtvghana.com
No Result
View All Result
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

Two divorces made me terrified of marriage

Sat, Sep 30 2023 1:58 PM
in Ghana General News, Relationships
two divorces made me terrified of marriage
0
SHARES
0
VIEWS
Share on FacebookShare on TwitterShare on TelegramShare on Whatsapp
ADVERTISEMENT
Divorce

Recently, I’ve been overcome with baby fever. It’s about time, I guess. I’m almost 38, so if I want to have kids, now is probably the time. When I discussed it with my partner, he had a question: If we do have a baby, should we take the plunge and get married, too?

It was a reasonable question, and I told him yes, that would make sense. And truthfully, I would love to call him my husband. He’s an open, thoughtful, and supportive man. But there’s one problem I struggle with: my history with marriage.

My boyfriend is once-divorced. But I’ve been married — and divorced — twice. The first time, I left my husband. The second time, my husband left me. I felt like the universe had evened the score when it came to me and marriages. And I’m not sure where that leaves me with a third marriage. In fact, it’s made me pretty terrified of ever getting married again.

It’s not that I don’t think my boyfriend would make a good husband. I know he would. In fact, he’d make an excellent husband. But the problem is me. I’ve already failed at being married, twice. What if I get married a third time and I screw it up all over again? Someone — two someones — supposedly cared about me enough to marry me, and then it all went downhill. What’s the common denominator here? It’s me.

I fully blame myself for my failed marriages — even though the first was a joint problem, and the second was an abusive hell on Earth. Regardless of why either ended, I’m personally filled with shame. I’m ashamed I couldn’t hold it together. I’m ashamed I couldn’t make two serious relationships work.

I’m convinced there’s something wrong with me — that I’m unlovable for the long term.

ReadAbout

Unpacking the Myth: Is a wife truly a reflection of her husband?

How 2 Ghanaian women were tricked with marriage to ‘white men’ and kidnapped in Nigeria

Post-marriage counselling key to addressing surge in divorce rates

That if something starts to go well, I will somehow figure out a way to ruin it. I don’t feel worthy, I don’t feel deserving, and I don’t want to put my partner through whatever it is I do to ruin marriages. He deserves better than that; he deserves better than me.

I realize this is unfair, both to me and to him. I’m being too critical with myself, and I’m not giving him a chance to make things work and show me that I’m wrong. Essentially, I’m writing off his feelings about me altogether — and that’s not right. But at least I know it’s a me problem, right? That means I can work on it and try to improve my mindset.

There’s a cliché that people never take their own advice, and in this case, that’s completely true.

If a friend were to come to me with this concern, I’d tell them to stop being ridiculous. You aren’t defined by your past relationships, and just because someone is twice-divorced, that doesn’t mean they’re destined to be alone or to have another marriage fail. We can all learn from our past mistakes and our past situations.

I know now that my first marriage ended mostly because we got married way too young and didn’t have the maturity to deal with that level of commitment.

I know my second marriage ended because my abusive husband shacked up with someone else, and there’s nothing I could do about it. It wasn’t my fault I was abused. But my brain doesn’t accept it. My brain tells me I’m broken. And I struggle with that every day.

I still want to pass that advice on to other people, though. Regardless of how many times you’ve been married or how many relationships you’ve been in, you’re still worthy of love. All relationships fail until the last one that sticks, right?

Don’t sell yourself short. Don’t tell yourself you’re not capable of being in a lasting relationship. And don’t do the same thing I do, and beat yourself up over something you couldn’t control. It’s not worth the stress.

DISCLAIMER: The Views, Comments, Opinions, Contributions and Statements made by Readers and Contributors on this platform do not necessarily represent the views or policy of Multimedia Group Limited.

  • President Commissions 36.5 Million Dollars Hospital In The Tain District
  • You Will Not Go Free For Killing An Hard Working MP – Akufo-Addo To MP’s Killer
  • I Will Lead You To Victory – Ato Forson Assures NDC Supporters

Visit Our Social Media for More

About Author

c16271dd987343c7ec4ccd40968758b74d64e6d6c084807e9eb8de11a77c1a1d?s=150&d=mm&r=g

hbtvghana

See author's posts

Discover interesting ones too

Yendi Solar Project: Bui Power Authority starts disbursement of compensation to landowners

Yendi Solar Project: Bui Power Authority starts disbursement of compensation to landowners

0
Mahama commends Ato Forson and BoG Governor for spearheading economic turnaround

Mahama commends Ato Forson and BoG Governor for spearheading economic turnaround

0

NPP Flagbearership: What has each prospective candidate done for Ghana in public office?

Samira Bawumia Literature Prize announces call for entries for 2025 edition

Bril and Kwabena Wonda drop uplifting new single ‘He Lives’

Why the NDC majority shields Mahama from impeachment—even amid constitutional Concerns

At dawn they hunt: The sacred ritual of Aboakyer’s deer chase

Mahama credits economic gains to policy reforms, unveils major road projects under ‘Big Push Programme’

Shocking: The state of Ghana’s railway system

Mexican beauty influencer shot dead during TikTok livestream

  • Ghana and Japan agree to pursue UN Security Council reforms

    Ghana and Japan agree to pursue UN Security Council reforms

    0 shares
    Share 0 Tweet 0
  • Beneath the Surface of the National Service Scheme (NSS)

    0 shares
    Share 0 Tweet 0
  • The Boob Movement founder, Abby Zeus poses completely nude in bed (18+photo)

    0 shares
    Share 0 Tweet 0
  • Tiwonisam Dogs World Hosts 2nd Edition of Nala Memorial Lecture in Accra

    0 shares
    Share 0 Tweet 0
  • Steve Harvey’s Jaw-Dropping Revelation: Abandon Preconceptions and Embark on an African Adventure!

    65073 shares
    Share 0 Tweet 0
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

Follow Homebase Tv

  • About Homebase Tv | Hbtvghana.com
  • Advertise
  • Broadcast Live
  • Disclaimer
  • Privacy & Policy
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Vacancies
  • Contact Us – Connect With Us

© 2014 Total Enjoyment & Proper News

No Result
View All Result

© 2014 Total Enjoyment & Proper News

Welcome Back!

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password?

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In
This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Cookie settingsACCEPT
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT

Add New Playlist

This website uses cookies. By continuing to use this website you are giving consent to cookies being used. Visit our Privacy and Cookie Policy.