It’s a common trope in movies, TV shows, and now, on social media — a mom leaves her husband alone with the kids for a day or two and comes home to chaos. But one mom’s video showing the state of her house after her time away has people concerned. The home didn’t look like chores had been neglected for a week, but like a hurricane hit their living room.
The mom shared what her house looked like after leaving her husband alone with their kids for 11 days.
You can probably already guess what TikToker @kianthelen found when she opened the door after her time away — a full-blown mess, right? But the scene in her house was on a whole other level than usual clutter.
Clothes strewn everywhere. Papers, homework and artwork hurled all over. Giant piles of laundry. Toys and tools and her husband’s shoes spread across the floor. Even some overturned furniture.
There’s no denying that being left alone with the kids for an extended period is no picnic — it’s no picnic even with both parents at home. But the scene in Kian’s house was so intense it had an eerie other layer to it: rather than haphazard, the mess appeared to some to be intentional.
For many online, the disaster that the mom came home to after leaving her husband alone with their kids was a major red flag.
“When I tell you my jaw dropped,” TikToker @jordanthegreywitch said in a response to the video, calling the state of the house “weaponized incompetence incarnate.”
@jordanthegreywitch When I tell you my jaw DROPPED
♬ original sound – Jordan The Grey Witch
She then pointed to the many studies showing that women are often happier single than in relationships, and tend to be happier after divorce, even in cases where the financial impact is negative.
[embedded content]“And people wonder why women would rather be alone,” Jordan mused. “No judgment on this person, but girl, you do not deserve that.” TikToker Jessie May (@jaymaymarie) agreed and, in a video of her, own added that the original video reveals an unequal partnership.
@jaymaymarie Then y’all wonder why women dont want to get married and dont want kids. They don’t want to exhausted. Thats valid. #fyp #fypシ゚viral #Viral #Marriage ♬ original sound – JessieMay
“Listen, marriage is a beautiful thing,” she said, “but it’s only beautiful if it’s a partnership.”
Are we meant to laugh? Nod knowingly? Feel bad for her husband or for her? I’d walk back out and text him saying ‘if the house isn’t cleaned up I’m not coming back.’ This is a form of manipulation and control, a guilt trip, and it’s not funny or acceptable. https://t.co/DXrpzYwVRQ
— Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds (@NJSimmondsbooks) November 13, 2023
Many saw a downright dark side to her video that might even indicate abuse.
Jessie May went on to delve into the darker side many saw in the video. “Being a good parent does not mean you’re just existing. It means that you’re cleaning the house, making sure it’s not a biohazard, making sure that it’s up to the state standards,” she said. “If CPS was to come in that house, they’ll probably take those kids. [There’s] nothing funny about that situation at all.”
That sentiment was shared by many. “Are we meant to laugh? Nod knowingly? Feel bad for her husband or for her?” one woman asked on Twitter. “This is a form of manipulation and control, a guilt trip, and it’s not funny or acceptable.”
Unfortunately, these women’s instincts align with what many mental health professionals say. Retaliation is a frequent tactic used by narcissists in all forms of relationships, as is ruining important events like vacations. Studies show this type of retaliatory emotional abuse is often indicative of the so-called “Dark Triad” of narcissism, Machiavellianism and borderline personality disorder.
@lily_37178 Replying to @powerlineroads Narcissistic punishment can take on a lot of different forms. #narcissists #narcissistic #abuseawareness #narcissist #narcissism #narctok #narcissismawareness #emotionalabusesurvivor #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #abuse #abusesurvivor #abusesurvivoradvocate #NPD #npdawareness #npdsurvivortok #toxicrelationship #controllingrelationship #narcissisticparent #narcissisticfamily ♬ original sound – Lily
Perhaps all this mom’s video does reveal is a husband who was simply overwhelmed by 11 days of solo parenting — nobody really knows except the people who were there. But regardless, the reactions to the video from women are very telling.
As Jessie May put it in her video, a good husband and a good father is going to clean that house and take care of those kids “because he knows what comes with being a father and what comes with being a husband. And it’s not him just existing.”
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