What to do when you find yourself falling in love with your best friend

There are things beyond our control in life – like the family we are born into, or the people we become attracted to and fall in love with.

That’s why, sometimes, our interest drifts to people we could never have, people we should never be falling for in the first instance. But matters of the heart are hardly controllable.

That’s why you find romantic interest growing between step-moms and their step-kids, between people with decades of age difference between them, and sure, people who set out to be just friends.

Read Also: COVID-19 is not a FRIEND to learn to live with but an ENEMY to eradicate – Dr Frank Amoakohene

 

If you find yourself falling for your best friend and you don’t know what to do, the tips below are just for you:

Understand what’s at stake

It is important to understand what is at stake and the things you’d probably lose by allowing this feeling linger. There is actually a chance that your best friend will like you back and there is also the possibility that they would want nothing but friendship.

Is it worth it to say something?

It is important to also ask yourself if what you feel is something that could translate to a real relationship or if you are just lusting after them?

Put your feelings in perspective – do you just find them sexy and want to know what it feels to have sex with him or her, or do you really consider them relationship material and want to build a serious relationship off the friendship you already have going with them?

Now if your friend is someone who does not appreciate casual sex, it makes no sense to broach the subject because you already know what their stance on the subject is, and what their response will likely be.

So, really, you just have to ask yourself: is it worth it to say anything about what you are feeling?

Try to gauge if your friend feels the same way

The fact that it’s your friend you are crushing on makes your job easy… kinda.

The proximity you have with him or her can be used to your advantage. So judge from what you can observe whether they would be keen on taking the relationship to a higher level or not. Do you think he or she feels the same way about you? Or do you think there is a chance they would want to see if it’s time to take your ‘relationship’ from friendship to the next level?

Be ready to accept your friend’s decision

Now you have to know whatever you are doing in a situation like this is a risk.

It is a tricky situation when you think about it; they might be cool with being friends but not being more than that. In that case, you have been friend-zoned and the knowledge could put pressure on the relationship in ways that would upset and upstage what you have going.

But whatever their decision is, you have to respect it . Whether you are cool with it or not.

Find a way to move forward

If they are cool with turning the friendship to dating, you’ve had it easy and there’s nothing to worry about there.

If they aren’t so sold on the idea, though, you’d also have to decide if you want to remain friends with them or not. And it’s cool whatever you decide. Just make up your mind on whether you want to remain friends with them or not.

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