A roaming hunter always meets a roaming antelope! The reason I don’t like staying out late in the night. Don’t think about it; just stay out late into the night till you one day have a flat tyre at 11pm in an area noted for the roaming of criminals!
You see the male fowl? (koklotsu). When a male fowl (cock) wants to have fun with ‘his wife’, ‘he’ doesn’t just go straight like that o; he finds a very romantic way of opening one wing in a stylish fashion and then approaches the hen like a car that has lost alignment. At this point, the hen too wants the ‘thing’ o, but she will be running small small pretending not to be interested. Orbua!
Many human husbands fail to do this koklotsu romance and many of our wives have a problem with that. As for me when it comes to romance, I no get. Weytin concern Kisseman village boy with romance? I don’t even understand it. Ablavi tried to coach me but when I look myself in the mirror, I don’t think my hard ugly face would make me make any adjustments to becoming a romantic husband. I would even annoy her the more. She herself has given up in her mind long time ago.
Small foreplay too, men can’t. Some of us because we are in a hurry to just ‘empty our already weak and rigid waists’, we apply small saliva to our left fingers and then smear it at the ‘port’ and then hrrrrrrr. It’s a complete put-off for many wives! Ei! Let me be careful here and put on record that my wife. She is the only one I have. Thank God the days of Ananias and Safira are no more or else by now!…..hehehehe!
My dear friends, there is something bothering me o. We have a saying that ‘he who gives a proverb and goes ahead to explain it may not be smart’! Even if I don’t know anything at all, I know that once Mrs. Mensah divorces her husband and gets married to Mr. Manu, she would be called Mrs. Manu and not formerly ‘Mrs. Manu (formerly Mrs. Mensah). Ah!
My worry is that I still don’t understand why nearly 2 years or so ago, we still keep making reference to social media platform X as (formerly Twitter)! How? Anyway? If it is X, let it be X! How long is this going to take to be making reference to a new brand and still going back to say it used to be like this! Your ex is your ex – let him or her go. It is either they stick to X or maintain the name Twitter! Simple! I may be wrong but once a brand is gone, it is gone especially after a strategic take-over or acquisition.
Anyway, the good news is that I am not even a subscriber on X (formerly Twitter). Hahaaaaa!
That reminds me. Why is it so difficult for men to remove diapers from their baby children but find it very easy to remove ‘bikinis’ from fully grown adult single ladies? I just asked a simple question o! To be frank, for the men, removing diapers from babies who have started eating fufu, meat, eggs, milk and mormorni soup with banku can be as hard as pursuing a PhD dissertation. Our women do well o. Handling that with so much ease? Ei!
Let us pray our wives, mothers and mothers-in-law are always around us to help. I had an experience when I had to take up that responsibility of changing baby diapers for just a day! Yeeeeeeeeeiiiii! Jesus is Lord! Shaka-taya-basa-masa! That was when I applied abomiki balm to my nose just to ward off the stench. The real big deal happened when after I was done changing the diapers, I mistakenly went to urinate with the abomiki balm on my fingers. Ei ei ei ei! More than ten buckets of water and two packs of ommo were used but still. Ala! Abomiki balm on my distin? Hmmm!
Marriage without provocation from one’s spouse should never be described as marriage o! Tomorrow I will by all means provoke my wife again p333333! When we are not on good terms and she is sleeping, I would just go and open the trap door wide enough for it to bang hard – gbaaan! It scares her and gets her woken up from her sleep in anger but she won’t complain because we are not on talking terms!
But at least for her major role of changing baby diapers let us value our wives. Just because of what I have just said, I won’t bang the bang the door again. Our wives go through a lot but they won’t share with you.
The two of us have been too nice to each other lately and the konkonsa the two of us have been doing about our neighbours er, hehehe! The reason she finds it easy to ask me to pass by the mall to buy this and buy that even if she could do so by herself. Interestingly, I will gladly run to buy them. But when we are quarrelling, I save a lot of money because she can’t send me to buy anything by ‘heart’.
Sex was created by God for married couples and it’s sweet. She didn’t use to like it much but of late she wants more of it unlike before. Now that I am aging and becoming weaker, her energy has come. Looks like it is the case for many wives o, anaaa? One of the wives posted something on her status some time back about how she was not on talking terms with her husband and confessed how she wanted ‘the thing’ at some point and could perceive her husband also wanted it but because of ego, she was praying for the husband to make the first move.
Another person reacted by saying contrary to general natural perceptions, many women in contemporary times have stronger egos than their male counterparts. True? She explained that it is the reason men are the first to apologise to their wives whenever their wives offend them! See? It is all because men want peace to prevail at home, and this starts from the man. Why not? You have to apologise for being offended o. Dey play!
She also mentioned that her husband sometimes puts her off because of ‘arm-pit powers’ due to lack of bathing. When she forces her husband to go and bath, he would say bathing is not in the 1992 constitution and he does not want to comply with a non-existing law.
Moreover, her husband has dreadlocks in his armpits and akpeteshie constitutes about 40% of the fluid in his body!
Guys, we are mostly at fault o. No woman likes it when we are chatting with someone and smiling! That’s a secret; don’t tell anyone o, yoo.
One narrated her own experience with how she had not been on talking terms with her husband and one day was in the mood and decided to bend down naked in the presence of her husband, and the husband in admiration of the rich ‘meat pie’ behind her was swallowing saliva in a drooling style. Having noticed that, she the wife started reciting Mathew 7:7 and the husband got the message and then haaa! What can come, came! Marriage is a beautiful thing that is why it is hard!
Have a nice weekend and remember not to take offence because the ‘assailant’ firing the gun is also feeling the heat that is coming from the hot gun as a result of his shots. Only teachers who have caned students before can relate more. After caning a student, they also get home to apply hot water to their own arms and apply abomiki. Tataaaaaa!
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DISCLAIMER: The Views, Comments, Opinions, Contributions and Statements made by Readers and Contributors on this platform do not necessarily represent the views or policy of Multimedia Group Limited.
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