In the Republic of Uncommon Sense, announcements do not arrive quietly. They come with fanfare, buzzwords, and the confident assurance that this time, everything will be different.
So when the DVLA cleared its throat and declared a Digital Revolution, the nation leaned forward. At last, we thought, our vehicles would join us in the modern world. At last, the car would no longer be registered by faith, memory, and faded carbon copies. At last—
“Please come in person.”
And just like that, the revolution put on its sandals.
Digitisation, we were told, would ensure that older vehicles meet current standards and qualify for the new plate system. A noble cause. A forward march. A Silicon Valley dream—except the march requires fuel, traffic, lost work hours, photocopies, and a queue long enough to form its own constituency.
Because in the Republic of Queues, progress never travels light.
The Great Confession
Citizens, being curious people, began asking inconvenient questions.
If our records are being digitised now, what exactly were they before?
Semi-digital? Spiritually archived? Stored in a filing cabinet that answers only to prayer?
Some professionals read the statement and heard something else entirely:
“Our data has never been secured.”
Ah. So the revolution is not just about the future.
It is also an apology tour for the past—one payable in transport fares and blood pressure.
Queue as National Heritage
There are countries with monuments.
There are countries with museums.
We have queues.
Queues are where citizenship is tested.
Queues are where productivity goes to sit and think about its life choices.
The DVLA queue is not an accident. It is a policy instrument.
You queue to prove seriousness.
You queue to demonstrate commitment.
You queue because the system must see your body before it believes your documents.
Digitisation may have arrived—but it did not come to abolish the queue.
It came to upgrade it.
Digital, But Make It Physical.
In other countries, digitisation removes steps.
In ours, it adds choreography.
You may ask:
Why not update records when vehicle owners come for roadworthy renewal?
This question has been asked.
It hangs in the air.
It remains unanswered.
Because that would be efficient—and efficiency, in the Republic of Queues, is suspicious.
Here, digital systems still require:
your physical presence
your physical vehicle
your physical patience
The computer may be online, but you must remain offline from your livelihood.
The Economics of Suffering
No one disputes the GH¢25 fee too loudly.
What stings is the hidden invoice:
lost income
wasted hours
transport costs
emotional exhaustion
This is not digitisation.
This is manual suffering with a digital receipt.
And where queues grow, rumours follow. Whispers of extortion, facilitation, and “small something” are not created by citizens—they are bred by systems that insist on friction.
A policy that demands your presence is never neutral.
Closing Ceremony
And so, we applaud the revolution.
Our cars are becoming digital.
Our patience remains analog.
In the Republic of Queues, progress does not eliminate inconvenience—it redistributes it. With reference numbers.
May our databases be secure.
May our queues be short.
And may one day, digitisation finally mean that when the computer says online, the citizen does not still have to show up in person to prove existence.
Until then, bring your documents.
Bring your vehicle.
Bring your lunch.
The future is here.
Please queue.
Jimmy Aglah – Republic of Uncommon Sense
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