Slay Queen Economy — Data Over Degrees

In today’s Republic of Uncommon Sense, the real GDP no longer means Gross Domestic Product.

It means Girls Doing Photoshoots.

Once upon a not-so-distant payday, the average young graduate woke up early, dressed smartly, printed CVs, and hunted jobs across dusty streets.

Today’s Slay Queen economy skips the CV — all you need is a new wig, a ring light, and enough data to go live before your competitors do.

Education, after all, is hard work — but the hustle is simple.

The Wi-Fi is the classroom. TikTok is the thesis. The sponsor is the scholarship fund.

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Who needs a second degree when you can find your second iPhone with the right selfie at the right poolside? If the degree fails, the filter never does.

While the economy loses value, followers gain.

And so, the Slay Queen Economy keeps spinning. It’s a GDP measured in bundles bought by men who pay with pride — or shame, depending on who leaks the receipts.

We laugh at them, but maybe they’re the real economists: no taxes, no pension fund, no HR department telling them to close cleavage and open spreadsheets.

Just vibes — and a portable ATM with a phone number.

So, dear undergraduate, if your certificate is gathering dust, maybe the Slay Queen in you just needs an upgrade.

But choose your sponsors wisely — for when the bank account runs dry, only your followers remain to comment “We move!” under your heartbreak post.

Jimmy Aglah, Your Certified Chronicler. Satirical Chronicles from the Republic of Uncommon Sense.

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