Lawyer and relationship counsellor, Serwaah Sarfo Mensah, has advised women to heal from past trauma before entering romantic relationships.
Speaking on JoyPrime’s Let’s Talk on Tuesday night, she stressed that unresolved trauma can affect choices, self-worth and the ability to thrive in relationships.
“As a woman, you need to heal from your emotional trauma from your past before seeking a relationship,” she said.
Her comments came during a discussion of a story about a woman who suffered maltreatment from a relative, later found love, but is now in debt after her partner began battling mental health challenges.
Serwaah explained that emotional trauma, if not addressed, tends to resurface later in harmful ways. She urged women to build self-esteem on their own, emphasising that a desire for emotional support does not mean weakness.
“We shouldn’t believe that we are not strong just because we sometimes want emotional support from people or our partners,” she noted.
She encouraged women to pursue personal growth and healing as the foundation for future relationships.
Touching on family guidance, she cited an Akan proverb: “There is an Akan proverb that says that what adults see, we don’t see it.” She said elders sometimes identify red flags in relationships that younger people in love may ignore.
Referring to the woman’s strict upbringing under her aunt, Serwaah suggested that the treatment might have been a form of protection.
“Because her aunt didn’t have children, she might have treated her that way to protect her,” she said, urging viewers to see the protective instincts behind seemingly harsh parenting.
She further cautioned women not to compromise their dignity in exchange for kindness. “You don’t need to sell your dignity to appreciate someone for being kind to you,” she advised.
Esq. Serwaah also underscored the need for self-reliance. “You are on your own. Do things for yourself so people around can help you out, but you have to support yourself first,” she said, adding that inner strength fosters emotional and mental well-being.
In her closing words, she encouraged the woman to focus her love on her child. “Pour all your love into your child. Make sure she doesn’t go through the same thing you went through,” she urged.
She advised the woman to step away from her relationship for now, take time to heal, trace the roots of her emotional wounds, and work on self-love. Only then, she said, should she decide whether to return to the relationship or move on.
Let’s Talk, which airs every Tuesday at 9 pm on JoyPrime, continues to provide a platform for real-life stories and meaningful conversations on relationships. The show has also introduced a new segment, Love Web, to connect people seeking love. Interested viewers can reach the producers with their details.
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