Renowned Ghanaian playwright and counsellor, Uncle Ebo Whyte, has shared his thoughts on the evolving role of fathers in modern families, cautioning against what he describes as the “motherisation” of fatherhood.
Speaking on Joy FM’s Super Morning Show ahead of Father’s Day, Uncle Ebo opened up about the pressures men face in trying to meet new expectations placed on them by their partners.
Addressing the issue, he said: “The motherisation of father… This is a situation where our wives are now telling us how we should be fathers, how we should manifest that we are fathers. And they are giving us the assignments now that we are fathers, so we should do this.”
He noted that many young men are struggling to fit into these new roles, which he believes attempt to turn fathers into maternal figures.
“It will do nothing but make them like mother, to love like mother and you are not mother, you can’t play that role,” he stressed.
“And yet a lot of boys are struggling to play that role and then at a certain time they hang on and say this thing is not working too well and then they give up on it.”
He used the common example of caring for infants to illustrate his point, saying there is a natural bond between mother and child that fathers must acknowledge.
“By the time that child pops out, that child and the mother has bonded for nine months and at that point you are only a cheerleader. For the first 3-6 months of the child’s existence, you are irrelevant,” he said.
“Because when the child is crying, what will you do?”
According to him, some fathers become discouraged at this early stage and withdraw from parenting altogether, not realising that their role will come in time.
“Unfortunately at that point, a lot of fathers then throw in the towel because, what’s my use here and then they back off. Without realising that mother has been given a head start, I will have my chance. My time will come and right now it is the mothers chance.
“Mothers are saying no, I am going to involve you in my time, and I am going to make you do the things that I need to do and you should do some. And we go into it because we are aware we have deficit in training and upbringing.”
Uncle Ebo believes that these expectations can harm both the father and the family unit. He urged that fathers should embrace their distinct role.
“Father is different, the role will come, not when the child is a week old. At that time, you are father yet to that office.”
Beyond parenting, Uncle Ebo also touched on the dynamics between husbands and wives, highlighting a major issue in Ghanaian homes.
“One of the challenges in Ghana is that we tend to be great fathers and lousy husbands,” he said, blaming societal conditioning and lack of proper modelling.
His advice?
“Be a great husband and the woman will fill in for even your shortcomings. Because then, she is not going to pour her frustrations on the children and poison their minds.”
While acknowledging that many women act wisely, he pointed out that some may, out of frustration, turn children against their fathers, creating long-term emotional splits.
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