Infertility! Have Sex With The Motive Of Fun

It is the desire of many people in their reproductive age to have children of their own by natural means. However, some are faced with difficulties in getting pregnant. After interacting with a few women in that situation, I observed that out of 10 women, 5 did not really know what ovulation is; 3 of them had knowledge about it but did not know when they were ovulating; and 2 of them had knowledge and were aware of their ovulation periods.

Further questions revealed that their main purpose for having sex was to get pregnant. Psychologically, this does not help the process of conceiving.

I started managing 3 of them with natural remedies—having sex with the motive of fun. After a series of medical and gynaecological investigations, the results proved that these patients were medically and gynaecologically fit.

These 3 women had been trying to get pregnant for 5 years. I took them through their menstrual cycles, educated them on the signs of ovulation, and emphasised having sex for pleasure and enjoying the moment together—not focusing on pregnancy. To the glory of God, they conceived.

Most causes are known, and others are unknown. This is a gynaecological problem affecting some women.

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Understanding Infertility

Infertility is the inability to conceive after one year of regular, unprotected sexual intercourse for women under 35, and a period of six months for women over 35.

Based on the outcome of sex education I mostly share with couples, and my experience, regular unprotected sex means having sex 3–4 times a week.

Unplanned intercourse does magic sometimes.

In most cases, women are blamed for the issue of infertility, but the truth is that some of the causes of infertility are from the men.

Due to these reasons, some women go to various hospitals, take prescribed and unprescribed medications, and also resort to spiritual interventions and all sorts of concoctions just to conceive—affecting them both physically and psychologically.

Some Causes of Infertility (in females):

Irregular menstrual cycle
Damage or blockage to the fallopian tubes
Endometriosis
Hormonal imbalance
Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)
Uterine issues such as fibroids and other structural abnormalities
Quality and quantity of eggs
Some medical conditions e.g., diabetes

Some Causes (in males):

Low sperm count
Abnormal sperm motility or movement
Hormonal imbalance
Abnormal structure of the sperm
Absence of sperm in the ejaculate (Azoospermia)
Erectile dysfunction

These causes may result from medical conditions such as diabetes; infections like STIs, mumps, etc.; and the use of illicit drugs such as heroin, cocaine, and smoking.

Types of Infertility

Primary Infertility: When a woman has never been pregnant despite regular sexual intercourse

Secondary Infertility: When a woman cannot get pregnant after one successful pregnancy
Unexplained Infertility: When medical or obstetrical investigations give no reason for the inability to conceive

Shared Responsibility

In our communities, we hardly point fingers at the males regarding infertility; women usually carry the cross. What is unknown is that a man can ejaculate, but not all sperm can grab an egg and fertilise it; interestingly, some do not even have an erection.

To ensure a concrete diagnosis of infertility, a series of lab investigations must be carried out on both the man and the woman.

This is the point where most men refuse to come to the hospital for lab investigations and examination—until an investigation is done on the woman, which shows that she is fit to conceive. Even at this stage, some men still do not show up for medical investigation.

We find ourselves in a society where women are expected to conceive right after marriage, irrespective of the couple’s plans. If pregnancy does not result within a few months, the questions, gossip, and pressure from family and friends alone affect the couple psychologically—and their aim for having sex becomes solely pregnancy, which does not help the process.

I encourage young women not to ignore menstrual abnormalities or reproductive issues. Rather, they should seek help, even when they are not ready for kids. Men, kindly support your spouse and be ready to go through the necessary medical examinations required during the treatment process.