Unrivaled Tips for avoiding an Affair
Affairs threatens the Success of a family. One of the quickest ways to threaten the viability of a family is to have an affair. The submission offers 10 tips for avoiding one
Tip #1: Be humble
An affair can happen to anybody. Affairs just don’t happen to people in problematic marriages, though they certainly can. The key is to realize that anyone can lose control if enough of the wrong circumstances line up; one does well to stop the progression before it passes the point of no return.
Tip #2: Through water on the spark
If you start feeling titillation towards another person do something to kill that. Putting some distance between you is always a good idea.e.g., stop having contact, make sure you are never alone together, don’t complain about your spouse to this person or encourage the same from him or her, avoid mixing contact with substance use.
Another strategy is to tell a wise friend, therapist, or clergy person about it, with an eye focused on having them re-echo you what you already know. Pre-affair flirtations are like mushrooms: they thrive in the dark. Throwing light on them makes them ill.
Another strategy is to tell a wise friend, therapist, or clergy person about it, with your eyes focused on having them re-echo to you what you already know. It means we all start losing pleasure in doing things that become too routine or familiar. There is a concept in psychology called “hedonic adaptation.
Please know this that, novelty in having fun and sex enhances your interest in your spouse and weakens pre-affair titillations. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve seen it happen that someone gets bored with their spouse, has an affair, marries that second person and then gets bored with that person as well.
Tip #4: Fix any impairing psychological pain in your life.
Affairs can be used like medicine for mental agitations. If your mental health is troubled, seek out a consultation with a qualified mental health professional. You may be amazingly surprised at how helpful this can be. It can also have way fewer side effects and be much less costly than medicating your pain with an affair.
Tip #5: Explore accounts of people who have been cheated upon by a spouse.
Perhaps you know someone who’d be willing to tell you what it’s like to have his or her spouse cheat on him or her. If not, there are plenty of accounts to be found on the Internet.
As a Relationship Miner, I find out many people are surprised by how much pain it causes their partner. Being connected to this awareness, instead of avoiding thinking about it, throws water on pre-affair sparks.
Tip #6: Explore accounts of people who have cheated.
It’s surprise how many times I’ve known people who felt wracked by guilt over an affair, and were really surprised by how much so. Such individuals often end up feeling inside them a terrible bind that if they don’t tell their spouse they feel a horrible, crushing guilt. If they tell their spouse too, it could end the marriage.
Tip #7: If your marriage is stuck, seek out a consultation with a skilled marriage therapist.
Most often, if the foundation in a marriage is strong, marriage counseling can go a long way to getting things back on track. In my experience there are four characteristics of a marriage that is working well.
Th four characteristics which suggests that a marriage is working well are, the couple have fun together on a regular basis, their sex life is mutually satisfying (in its frequency and nature), arguments don’t get toxic and couples share what matters in their lives.
Tip #8: Reflect on what the pain from divorce is like.
Engaging an affair significantly increases the likelihood of a divorce and few human experiences are more stressful or painful than that. Moreover, if you share children you could find yourself having to co-parent with someone who feels significant hurt and anger towards you, even years later.
Tip #9: Secrecy
If you believe you wouldn’t feel guilty over an affair, can keep it secret while continuing to be in a relationship with your spouse (very few can and it takes tremendous energy to do so) and are seriously thinking about moving forward with one, please seek out the services of a mental health professional.
Alternatively, you put yourself at high risk for facing some of the common painful consequences that affairs tend to bring.
Tip #10: Do what you can to keep stress from getting toxic.
A regular spiritual and/or meditation practice can also be very helpful, which may or may not mean practicing a specific religion. Also, getting a recommended night’s sleep, being physically active on a daily basis, maintaining a healthy diet, and having fun with friends regularly can do the trick.
By Emmanuel Osei Akoto