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You Have To Define Your Relationship

It’s unacceptable to see a lady whose parents treated her well and never abused nor punished her for mistakes, stuck to a man who abuses her just in the name of love.

It’s unfortunate to hear some husbands are being mistreated by their wives day in and out, and instead of living in love they are living in fear. Don’t be surprised to hear some wives beat their husbands not only with their blows but with their words too. Some men are crying in their marriage; don’t be shocked, for men also have emotions. They also get hurt when abused.

Ladies, he is a man by birth. Being a gentleman has more to do with his character, the way he was raised. Marriage doesn’t make any man a gentleman; if he is not gentle with you whilst dating, there is a greater possibility he won’t change. If he is slapping you now as a boyfriend, he might be beating you up as a husband.

Your boyfriend today is like your child, what you allow before marriage will be the order of the day or worse after you have been joined together.

The bible says “Teach a child to choose the right path, and when he is older, he will remain upon it” – Proverbs 22:6 (TLB).

The truth is a house with a weak foundation in the morning, will surely crumble in the night while you are fast asleep.

Define your marriage as you date, decide and negotiate what you can take and what you can’t, what you can tolerate and what you can’t. Don’t just close your eyes to the things you don’t like, or pay deaf ears to words you don’t want to hear, or swallow stuff that has the power to choke you.

No matter how strong you feel about someone, it cannot change their behaviour. To love doesn’t mean to close your eyes; to love means to pray for someone, but even that requires you to open your eyes.

“Watch and pray so that you will not be tempted. Man’s spirit is willing, but the body does not have the power to do it.” – Matthew 26:41 (NLV).

Yes, the spirit knows you are in a wrong relationship, the spirit knows you are in an abusive relationship and need to leave yet the flesh is weak; your body says but I love him, but I love her.

This is why you get to watch and observe a person attentively over a period of time, then exercise care before you start falling in love with them.

Men, just as a woman seated in a garage doesn’t make her a Mercedes Benz, so a woman getting married doesn’t make her a lady. Being a lady has more to do with her upbringing, her mental and moral qualities.

One thing I have observed is that, anytime you start looking for the right person, people always come around looking right from the beginning, but with time their true colours are revealed, so please take time.

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