God doesn’t bless a relationship that starts out this way. That doesn’t mean that the marriage can’t last until death do them part, but it sure does make it a lot harder than God intended it to be.
“Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery” ( Hebrews 13:4 ).
Even marriage that goes the way God intended it to be is hard! Starting a relationship off with adultery is a sure sign you married the wrong person. However, we serve a God of restoration and healing, even in the most undeserved and sinful of circumstances.
There is something that is stolen from marriage when sex comes first. In our society, it’s widely acceptable. Giving in to someone that can’t wait is a sure sign that we couldn’t wait for what we deserved. It’s hard to believe that God has someone set aside for us, especially when the wait has been decades long. When we settle for the “now,” we blindly give up the best-case scenario.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 warns, “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”
Many of us don’t understand how valuable we are to God. “Flee,” the Bible says. We may not understand at the time, but everyone who has chosen to marry based upon the decision to have sex first, has most likely chosen out of the wrong motivations.
Living together before marriage steals the opportunity to gain independence before we’re linked for life. It’s important for individuals to be OK with who they are before becoming one with another.
“Watch out for people who try to dazzle you with big words and intellectual double-talk. They want to drag you off into endless arguments that never amount to anything. They spread their ideas through the empty traditions of human beings and the empty superstitions of spirit beings. But that’s not the way of Christ. Everything of God gets expressed in him, so you can see and hear him clearly. You don’t need a telescope, a microscope, or a horoscope to realize the fullness of Christ, and the emptiness of the universe without him. When you come to him, that fullness comes together for you, too. His power extends over everything” ( Colossians 2:8-10 ).
No other person can ever complete us. Christ is the only one that is capable of filling our hearts. Looking for that completion in another person sets us up to pick the wrong soulmate.
Making the decision to marry based on someone’s income is not smart. No income is guaranteed to last forever, and we are promised that money is not the key to happiness.
“Lust for money brings trouble and nothing but trouble. Going down that path, some lose their footing in the faith completely and live to regret it bitterly ever after” ( 1 Timothy 6:10 ).
Being spoiled with gifts and taken on spontaneous vacations is romantic, and fun! If we are blessed with people who care about us in that way, it’s not a bad thing. John 10:10 assures us that Jesus died so that we may live life to the fullest; however, that’s not accomplished through financial gain, and shouldn’t be a requirement for who we are going to marry.